I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
