I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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