is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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