You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
