Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
