Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
