Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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