Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
did i just pee glitter
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
