You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
