South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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