You're completely useless in the revolution.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
