You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
