I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
