You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
