I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
