Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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