In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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