just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize