He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
