If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
