Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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