the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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