i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
