Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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