I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
