Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize