oh god the rape fog is back!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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