I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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