How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
