I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
