come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
