I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I want is dick and wine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
