let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
