I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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