i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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