Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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