I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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