One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
