Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
