did you get engaged???
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
