Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
either way he was missing a nipple.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The ass gains better be worth it
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