question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
