You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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