but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
