I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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