I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
