i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
