You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
