Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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