So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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