Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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