I love black thongs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
