I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
