My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
