Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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