my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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