Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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