Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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