drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
