is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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