Sry I called you an 8
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
