It's Friday. Sex?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
