So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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