what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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