speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize